I really do not know the answer

I know that my dh job matches 4.5% if you put in 6% that is the max. So we are putting in 6%. We had heard/read not sure where Dave said if it was going to take you a long time to get through bs2 and your company has a match then do it. I have no clue where I heard it but that is the way we are going with it.
Maybe it is not right but we are doing fine with it.

Will the surgery mean you can’t pay her that month’s payment?

If not, tell her to MHOB! Sorry that you are getting the run around. Can your surgery wait? Is it necessary? (I don’t know anything about fibroids.) If it can’t wait, tell her that. What does your DH think? Maybe he should talk to her.

If this is your only debt beside the house, and it sounds like it’s about $10K? then maybe you should get a loan from the bank and pay your ILs. That would not be incurring new debt, just moving around existing debt.